Saturday, September 26, 2015

On into the silence

You tried being sneaky, the last time we were together
- in Miami, on vacation. We drove forever
looking for Italian - and it wasn't
that we couldn't find a place,

but it had to be authentic,
cause how often do you get to treat a friend
that lives 926 miles away from you.
Three times,
I guess.

You had
the biggest plate of spaghetti & ate it all, leading
to a visit to the bathroom, where you tried
to pay the bill by slipping your card
to the waiter

but I beat you to it.

You didn't bring
your wife or your fiddle, but there was always music
around, when you are. Even if it was just in your head,
or in the stories you told -

about guys you had sponsored. Some seeming
hopelessly lost in their own fictions. We talked about why
you always wear pants, and laughed in the parking lot
before you left - about something,

I can't remember. You drove around
the parking lot on your scooter, because you couldn't

the way you came in. What an odd couple
we'd make - in Starbucks, drinking Black eyes.

Maybe they thought you were my dad,
instead of two guys that met on the internet.
You could have been. I am sure you were to some,
even if you weren't.

I hate writing in past tense.

It was so warm the day we walked
the trail, where the train
tracks used to run.

So cool in its tunnel
cut through the mountain.

I will keep watch
now my friend - in the silence
here after the music.

You rest.

About the best I can do, after hearing about the death of my good friend Steve Elaesser in Naples, FL. Thanks for being a real person, Steve.


  1. Oh this is so sad - Steve was always so nice to me..I put an intention out there for him tonight for a safe journey...not gone - just transformed..

    Peace & Light always...I know he is crossing the bridge..

  2. Oh no.. Internet friends are as real as anything.. but when you meet them it's something extra. I so remember Steve's visits, that has become so scarce.. sad to hear about his death.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. of course it had to be authentic cause he was too...
    really i look like a zombie after all the crying i've done after learning about his death... i know where he went but still missing him so much
    was always hoping that i one day would make it down there to meet him in person..
    he would love your poem X. and he would hate all my crying - ha
    he was awesome - wasn't he

  5. I think he will hear those words...and where he is resting he will smile - i could picture every minute...authenticity is hard to come by isn't it - in people or otherwise...but it is here..

  6. I have the chills. I'm shocked. Steve?

  7. Such a loss. Your words, however, are a warmth in the dark, and the life left behind in them continues.

  8. Oh that is SO poignant...and I am really sad to hear about the death of your friend.
    A truly beautiful tribute to him...

  9. So sad that another life is cut short for the distraction of an electronic device.. and i remember Steve from his poetry here.. thanks for providing his full name.. as i am able to easily find his blog again.. from when he last posted with dVerse back in January of 2014.. around the time you left the effort then.. and i read all his poetry back to that date.. easy to do.. as he is concise unlike me.. hehe.. and yeah.. i for one read 10 times faster than the average human.. my Autistic Super power.. haha!.. like Sheldon Cooper.. smiles.. again.. and what a beautiful soul.. an 82 year old man who still has the vitality to ride a gas saving scooter all around town.. a lifelong violin player.. and a loving soul.. who helps so many people with the disease of addiction.. lending them a hand.. of GOD.. to be filled with Love once again.. instead of a substitute FOR WHAT tRuly FEELS AS Human Soul in mind and body balance with the all natural power of Love gifted to us by GOD.. as God's Unconditional Love.. the way your friend Steve expresses that so wonderfully on his blog.. anyway.. i suppose the most amazing thing about a blog.. is.. if one truly opens up their emotional heart.. and expresses that fully as emotional spirit.. one truly does upload their soul forever or whenever the server dies.. hehe.. which ever comes first.. but never the less.. his ashes live on.. for others to feel more than just flowers at a grave site my friend.. and those are at least tears for joy.. of a soul well spent.. and shared.. that goes on my friend.. iN sMiLES..:)

    1. A soul well spent - I like that.
      He was def a beautiful soul.

  10. A beautiful tribute to a special friend. So sorry for your loss and for our loss. I was devastated when I found out last night. Steve was always supportive and kind. We stayed connected on the blogs and on Facebook.hugs.

  11. I do remember Steve a bit, from his poetry. I also do remember he stayed at your house once! And played a violin as he walked through the train - that always impressed me. There are real friends to be found on the internet, people who matter. And, if one is lucky enough (like in this case), you have a chance to meet them in 'real' life as well. People who touch one's life like this will live on.

  12. Both you and Claudia have written such touching tributes to Steve. I find it interesting how the tone of you poetry changed (both of you). As I said to Claudia, it is possible to care deeply about someone you meet blogging poetry--no doubt because of the part of us that is revealed in this are a good friend.

  13. "I hate writing in past tense." My sincerest condolences on your loss. This was a very moving piece. (hugs)


  14. A very poignant poem, X--the hating writing in the past tense is a vivid and compelling line--but the whole poem is a wonderfully alive description--the end, of course--too sad. k.

  15. "We talked about why
    you always wear pants" ... I love this. :)

    But I think you have it backwards; the music is just now beginning. There is no way heaven is silent. I'm so sorry for his family and friends, but Steve is surely going to have some crazy fun, singing and dancing, while waiting for you.

    1. Very clever, what you did with the word "rest," by the way, tying it back to the title, and the reality, that his music will now cease, at least that of it which you are able to hear.

      My thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend.

    2. Thanks S, and thanks for checking on me.
      I am sure his music is pretty amazing right about now.

    3. You know I'm here
      for you.

  16. authentic X - may this lament bring you peace.

    1. I found a bit of peace @ church.
      He was a good man and good friend.

  17. A very touching piece...I hate that kind of news...if only...we could have met more often...sung more songs...told each other how we really feel...oh, the distance...makes it seem even harder....and yet, to have had him close, might have even been harder still. I am sorry you lost your friend, friends are so hard to come by these days...when misunderstanding often keeps us apart, but what a wonderful piece...I wonder how it would have been to have changed it to present tense? Past, present, future, isn't it all the same? hugs to your heavy heart

  18. "I hate writing in past tense." -- this, right here, says it all.
    A wonderful tribute. I am deeply sorry for your loss.

  19. I'm so sorry for your loss. Nice that you got to meet Steve in person and have a good memory to repeat when he crosses your mind.

  20. I am shocked....I know Steve and have read his poems and have been encouraged by his lovely comments ~ Thanks for giving us a snapshot of the warm friendship ~

  21. So much sadness in these words... but such a loving tribute all the same. So sorry to hear about Steve. xo

  22. I think we all would be honored by such a poem.

    Sorry for your loss and sorry I never met him.

  23. It's as if a piece of you has died too. So sorry.