Monday, September 7, 2015

The fat sizzles as it drips into the flames; with gratitude

photo by daBinisi

The mother deer is back with her young, herding them with more than silence. One dead eye dangles, out of socket, on her cheek; a living reminder --- of near misses & parting shots by those going too fast to stop. Their heads bow in prayers of tongue&teeth on grass & leavings; fallen pears, over ripe or gone soft. A promise kept so mundane we seldom notice, at worst take for granted; it will snow when we least expect it. Twenty feet, ten - she knows I am there, behind the grape arbor; out of season now, a tangled, dry mess. We know one another --- by smell, not comfortable enough to touch; just appreciate each other's transience. I finger the scratch of my chin, she hooves the grass -- the kids dance a little freer than all of us. A lawnmower, a couple doors down, tames a small patch. A mantis tests each foot before taking a step; halfway up, it rests.

The cloud mountains laugh,
looking down on all of us;
a little higher than yesterday.


  1. ~~ and life goes on. As always you churn up so much emotion in me. (and yes I do know more adventure calls my name)

  2. You know I miss your prose writing X ~ I admire how you painted the mother deer with one dead eye & heads bowing in prayers on grass & leavings ~ A sharp capture of moment's seasons & heartbeat of life - with a matis imagery ~

    I love the haibun & thanks for your support ~

  3. What a beautiful scene portrayed here - I LOVE "The cloud mountains laugh"!!!!!! So sad about that eye hanging down, how painful it must be. A wildlife officer might tranquillize her and snip it off...? but one wouldnt want to risk her and her babies being separated, which might happen once officialdom enters the picture. Anyway, I so love this poem.

    1. I was talking with someone the other day about it, and evidently the brain can shut off parts of the body, like that - to keep you functioning. So in all likelihood the deer sees fine out of the other eye and the brain does not let it see through the dangling one. I hope so, cause that would be majorly disorienting.

  4. The scene with the mother and her kids is great, she seem to have the resilience to carry on despite that one lost eye. There is a sense of death otherwise now when autumn comes, so great to read your prose again. The haiku with the laughing mountain clouds is so great.

  5. Another prince of prose rises with calmness & firm control. You are bang on about vision, which is a brain function; the doe would have lost some depth perception & binocularity but could function fine visually. In the suburbs here in the foothills of the Cascades, we do see deer in our back yards regularly, & must deer-proof our gardens accordingly.

  6. ... ya ... September ... and I share my crop of peas right now with mother deer and her offspring ... but will she share her "crop" with me come hunting season in November ? ...

  7. Winding roads faster and faster
    deer crossings ahead slower and
    slower.. two cultures meet in head
    on crash.. deers and humans kiss
    windshields flesh and blood same..

    Bambi.. i cry
    Bambi cry i..
    Don't shoot..:)

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  9. Lovely vivid imagery and so clearly pictured. Enjoyed your haibun very much

  10. This is a very vivid scene which reminds me of my own close encounters with deer. There is something very special in being able to approach them and be part of what feels like a bubble for a few minutes. I also like how the haiku rounds your haibun up and seems to bring us back to ordinary life.

  11. This brings me such feelings of sadness for the deer, but I am so glad that the fawns still have their mother. I think you are right about the deer knowing you and you knowing the deer. There are deer around here, and they are not afraid. We just stare at one another at a safe enough distance. I liked the detail about the mantis.....and the haiku about the clouds! Nicely penned haibun.

  12. A stunning scene, and with a start like that you know you are going to be pulled hard as a reader. Real atmosphere created, and extraordinary attention to detail.

  13. Nice. I'd say more, but I'm feeling a bit snippy, and you don't apparently notice my comments anyway. Peace, Linda

    1. I would if you made them.
      Its about what I expect.

    2. I commented on your Watchman post, but apparently you didn't notice because you then accused me of not commenting for "several weeks." That post was just last week.

  14. Moving so brilliantly sadly into fall-winter time....we're like our encounters with deer, now with turkey family too....which even harder as time comes closer to November... ~ enjoyed details!

  15. The price for the freedom of being wild... Your paragraph is like a living photograph; beautifully done, x. Love the 'cloud mountains' - that's just how I see clouds too! I think this is one of your best!

  16. A delightful encounter, poignant yet full of life.

  17. I like this prose followed by poetry X. i wonder if the clouds are higher and laughing because amid all the wildfires more than a few hemp fields are burning too?

  18. Hey you-- a wonderful title first of all and a thought-provoking rumination on transitions of seasons, life-- and how they really are shares by other beings whether we acknowledge them or not. Of course you do. Nice rhythms here too. Thanks. K.

  19. Near where I live I saw a sign posted that said "Drive Slow Please...two fauns killed here recently"...this and your poem remind me of how fragile life is...that the randomness of weather and accidents can create so much havoc in our lives...yet life goes on and with a sense of humor we can handle even the most horrific.

  20. this is a world filled with fear, resilience, love and beauty...a wonderful sketch....

  21. That image of that poor deer with the eye hanging out is going to stay with me X. I grew up in an area where deer were plentiful (and here in my little corner of Sweden we are overrun with deer) and I have honestly walked right into one (as you might a person in a crowded room).I am very inattentive and for some reason when I am not paying attention I become invisible to wild animals because they don't seem to see or care one bit about me.


  22. A perfect snapshot of the Big Picture. Love this: "the kids dance a little freer than all of us" ... such eternal truth there, and your haiku pulled it all together perfectly.

  23. Your prose is as stunning as your poetry. Lovely!

  24. "To appreciate each other's transience" is a beautiful moment of connection and i love the idea of cloud mountains laughing at us.

  25. A lovely scene, beautifully captured detail by detail.

  26. I love "the cloud mountains laugh"--such beautiful imagery :-)

  27. I really like the way you bring so many different images of "life" into one moment...the mantis was a good touch...and a beautiful haiku melded it beautifully.

  28. that "prayer of tongue and teeth" line blows me away. You captured such a simple act of a deer grazing, but give it such grace and reverence. Beutiful!

  29. Yes, you need to continue your prose which is so very good. This evokes so much of an emotional response in me...reflecting the fragility of these beautiful creatures. And, of course, the haiku part works so well.

  30. The danger of rushing through without due care. The tragedy of animals injured is a real problem. Survival may be a big challenge. Great haibun X with great wordcraft!


  31. Oh.. deer life run free through challenge
    Ah.. deer expands vision adapts..
    Oh.. deer life.. no NO problem changing
    Ah.. Resist change police now..
    Ooh.. this is so great! i come again..
    there's always room for change
    and new inspiring
    poetic responses
    get aboard
    train full
    speed for dears..
    and flying tears....
    and F's.. as
    i can ONLY
    imagine if 'Jesus'
    is real he giggles
    a lot before he
    is crucified
    it can NOT
    be easy
    an 'only
    son' of deers....
    with one eye hanging
    out of socket
    still moving
    full speed
    toward GOD..
    with Parables
    flying everywhere
    a dime a dozen
    for those without
    eyes and ears to see....

    eye out of socket

  32. OBTW..

  33. This haibun, X, hinges on that one word: transience. The deer, the grass, fruit, winter, life, seasons, all delicately woven into a tapestry of words.

    I'm sorry it took me a while to come by and read. I am trying to not post unless I can read others' work. I think the deer's eye out of the socket scared me a little and took me off track a bit, but then in rereading I took it as part of the whole and as that it spoke to me.